There are certain times in life when we wish we could stop the clock and live in the moment forever.
Such times are fond memories; and in a way, the clock actually does stop – at least, in our minds. For each time that we recall an incident from our past, we are recalling a fixed moment in time. Every time we recall something from out of our past, is a time when the clock stopped for us – even if just for a moment.
As my mother lived out her last days here on earth, I found myself remembering more and more of the good times we had together. Please understand, it didn’t use to be that way. For most of my life all I could remember were the bad times. My holding on to them and frequently recalling them was a form of self-imprisonment; as I could never break free from the bitter resentments those memories held. Thus my relationship with my mother never got any better and I remained emotionally immature for most of my life.
I never took responsibility for my actions; choosing instead to blame people, places, and situations for all my problems. Now, however, I am able to see the past clearly and honestly.
Today, I know and fully realize that the only one who kept me from being all that I could have been was myself; and I thank God for showing me that. I also thank God for showing me His mercy and His grace; without which I would have never come to know what it is to be free from all the bitterness that kept me in bondage for the majority of my life.
I have heard it said that we never really grow-up until our parents are gone. With only my own experience to relate to, I cannot say how true or false this statement may be. I can say, however, that it is only by the grace of God that I have been able to grow up and learn what it is to forgive and be forgiven; what it is to receive grace – and to extend grace to others – even to the “stop-the-clock” moments from the past. For God has shown me perfect love and how to love perfectly. Today I fully understand that without love, I am nothing.
Categories: On A Personal Note
Karl D Rhoads
I am a Married, Forgiven, Imperfect Follower of Christ.
I am a recovered alcoholic (since July 12, 1999) and an ordained minister of the Gospel of Christ (since July 6, 2002).
I have been saved from the grave (more then a few times) by the loving hand of the God and Father of our Lord, Christ Jesus.
My heart's desire is to meet the needs of others with the love of Christ as he directs and enables me to do so.