By Neil Miller (as adapted for those in recovery)
Our Father who art in Heaven…
Don’t interrupt me. I’m praying…
BUT YOU CALLED ME.
Called you? I didn’t call you. I’m praying. Our Father who art in Heaven…
THERE, YOU DID IT AGAIN.
CALLED ME. YOU SAID, “OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN”. HERE I AM. WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?
But I didn’t mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord’s Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.
ALL RIGHT. GO ON.
Hallowed be Thy name.
HOLD ON. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
BY “HALLOWED BE THY NAME.”
It means…it means…good grief, I don’t know what it means. How should I know? It’s just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
IT MEANS “HONORED”, “HOLY”, “WONDERFUL”.
Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what “Hallowed” meant before. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
Sure, why not?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Do? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be great if You got control of everything down here like You have up there.
DO I HAVE CONTROL OF YOU?
Well, I go to AA meetings and church once in awhile.
THAT ISN’T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT THAT NEW PERSON THAT TOOK A “DESIRE CHIP” AT YOUR MEETING TODAY? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT TO THE 24 HOUR CLUB OR THE SALVATION ARMY OR SOME OTHER PLACE WHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING FROM WHAT IT WAS THAT JUST ABOUT DESTROYED YOU, BY TELLING THEM WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YOU? HOW ABOUT THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY…ALL ON YOURSELF. YOU GIVE VERY LITTLE TO YOUR GROUP AND WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU HELPED A NEEDY NEWCOMER WITH A LITTLE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE? DOESN’T THE PROGRAM I GAVE YOU TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE TO SERVE ME AND THE PEOPLE I PUT IN YOUR LIFE? DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ON?
Stop picking on me!! I’m just as good as some of the rest of those phonies in our Fellowship.
EXCUSE ME… I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU, FOR EXAMPLE.
Oh, all right! I guess I do have some shortcomings. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.
SO COULD I!!!
I hadn’t thought about it until now, but I really would like to be of more service to You and the ones You put in my life. I’d like to, you know, make my life count for more than it has been.
NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE’LL WORK TOGETHER… YOU AND ME. NOW, SOME VICTORIES CAN TRULY BE WON. I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
Look Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does…Give us this day our daily bread.
YOU COULD DO A LITTLE BETTER WITH THE “BREAD” I DO GIVE YOU EACH DAY. YOU DON’T EAT RIGHT, YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY SELFISHLY. YOU ARE BASICALLY SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED. THAT IS REALLY THE ROOT OF ALL YOUR TROUBLES.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this, “Criticize Me Day?” Here I was doing my spiritual duty, and all of a sudden You break in and remind me of all my character defects.
PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU COULD WIND UP A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON YOU KNOW. THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO YOU. YOU CALLED ME, AND HERE I AM. IT’S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP ON PRAYING. I’M VERY INTERESTED IN THE NEXT PART OF YOUR PRAYER, ………….…………………….WELL, GO ON.
I’m afraid to.
SCARED? OF WHAT? I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY. TRY ME AND SEE.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
OH YEAH? WHAT ABOUT_________?
See, I knew it! I knew You would bring them up! Why? They have gossiped about me, cheated me out of money…they never paid me back the debt they owe me. You know I swore to get even.
BUT YOUR PRAYER………WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?
I really didn’t mean it. It’s just a part of the prayer.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU ARE BEING HONEST WITH ME. BUT IT’S NOT MUCH FUN CARRYING THAT LOAD OF RESENTMENTS, IS IT?
No, but I’ll feel better as soon as I get even with them. Boy, have I made some plans for those sick souls. They’ll wish they had never met me when I get through with them.
YOU WON’T FEEL ANY BETTER. YOU’LL FEEL WORSE. REVENGE ISN’T SWEET. THINK OF HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE ALREADY. BUT I CAN CHANGE ALL THAT.
You can? How?
FORGIVE THEM. THEN I’LL FORGIVE YOU. THEN THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE THEIR PROBLEM AND NOT YOURS. THEY MAY NOT MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH YOU BUT YOU WILL BE AT PEACE IN YOUR HEART.
But Lord, with what they did to me, I can’t forgive them.
THEN I CAN NOT FORGIVE YOU!
Oh, You’re right! You are always right. And more than I want revenge on them, I want to be all right with You….All right! I forgive them. Help them to find the right path in life. Lord, they are bound to be awfully miserable, now that I think about them. Some way, some how, show them the right path.
GOOD! NOW HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Hmm…not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I feel pretty good. You know, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble sleeping tonight for the first time in a long time. Maybe I won’t be so tired from not getting enough rest.
YOU ARE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER….GO ON.
Oh, all right….And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
GOOD…GOOD! I’LL DO JUST THAT. JUST DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN PLACES OR SITUATIONS WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.
What do you mean by that?
I HAVE GIVEN YOU A SET OF DIRECTIONS TO LIVE BY. AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILLING TO FOLLOW THOSE DIRECTIONS, YOU WILL BE JUST FINE. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU HAVE A WAY OF DECIDING THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. HOW MANY TIMES HAS THAT PUT YOU IN REAL TROUBLE?
I don’t understand.
SURE YOU DO. YOU’VE DONE IT A LOT OF TIMES. YOU DID WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO — THAT YOU KNEW YOU SHOULDN’T DO. YOU GOT INTO TROUBLE AND CAME RUNNING TO ME FOR HELP. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES YOU HAVE SAID, “DEAR GOD, IF YOU WILL JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS I PROMISE I’LL………………” WHEN DID I EVER LET YOU DOWN? AND WHEN DID YOU EVER KEEP YOUR END OF THE DEAL?
Oh yes, and I am ashamed Lord. I really am.
GO AHEAD AND FINISH YOUR PRAYER.
Oh yes…for Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever and ever. Amen.
YOU DO KNOW THAT THIS IS MY KINGDOM, NOT YOURS DON’T YOU?
Yes Lord, I do.
YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE ALIVE AND WELL WITH A REAL PURPOSE IN LIFE TODAY BECAUSE OF MY POWER, DON’T YOU?
Yes Lord, I do.
WELL THEN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY? WHAT WOULD REALLY PLEASE ME?
No God, but I sure would like to know. I do want to please You. I have made a complete mess of my life and I can see what You have been doing for me. You have done far more than I deserve. Yes, I am willing to see how great my life could be if I really tried to please You. Will You please show me what I can do to make You pleased with me?
YOU JUST DID. YOU JUST ANSWERED MY QUESTION.
YES, THE ONE THING THAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY IS TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU TRULY LOVE ME AND WANT TO PLEASE ME BY BEING MY INSTRUMENT IN HELPING OTHERS COME TO KNOW ME THROUGH THE PROGRAM I HAVE GIVEN YOU. I CAN SEE THAT HAPPENING BETWEEN US. NOW THAT SOME OF YOUR SELFISHNESS HAS BEEN EXPOSED AND DONE AWAY WITH. WELL, I CAN SEE SOME GREAT THINGS HAPPENING. THERE IS NO TELLING WHAT WE CAN DO TOGETHER.
Yes Lord, let’s see what we can do and what You can make out of me, OK?
YES, LET’S GET BUSY AND SEE!!!